Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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