1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
