She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
