I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
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I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
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i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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