So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
