she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
