): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
