wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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