drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
