Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
