just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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