but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's never too late to be topless.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
