So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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