i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
