About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
