My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
