She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
