..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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