I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
no you cant smoke seaweed
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
