How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize