Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
