You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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