They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
