i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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