ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All the doctor said was why
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
