I didn't shave. On purpose
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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