Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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