Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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