I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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