I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
