I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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