oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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