I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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