how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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