it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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