A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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