if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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