you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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