Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego

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  (651): my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego http://tfl.nu/c4f3
  Replies (8) Good night (4831) Bad night (634)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm

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  (337): you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm http://tfl.nu/y579
  Replies (27) Good night (7550) Bad night (1182)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.

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  (601): He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal. http://tfl.nu/idbe
  Replies (12) Good night (799) Bad night (3631)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?

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  (858): So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism? http://tfl.nu/tlrk
  Replies (13) Good night (5638) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.

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  (252): this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats. http://tfl.nu/6vwk
  Replies (64) Good night (5292) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize

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  (403): I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize http://tfl.nu/xooj
  Replies (17) Good night (4194) Bad night (1533)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  You can't call dibs 8 years later.

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  (936): You can't call dibs 8 years later. http://tfl.nu/gnnz
  Replies (7) Good night (2481) Bad night (922)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...

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  (229): He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother... http://tfl.nu/bv7d
  Replies (8) Good night (833) Bad night (2497)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.

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  (803): My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband. http://tfl.nu/w0zf
  Replies (5) Good night (2065) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.

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  (519): I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vv54
  Replies (2) Good night (1237) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  was it you?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  ...yes

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  (802): just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store (203): was it you? (802): ...yes http://tfl.nu/br4h
  Replies (7) Good night (2471) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair

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  (517): It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair http://tfl.nu/cxxw
  Replies (4) Good night (443) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder

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  (317): So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder http://tfl.nu/lnpc
  Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off

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  (315): sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off http://tfl.nu/l1w9
  Replies (0) Good night (729) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off

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  (807): I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off http://tfl.nu/3ozb
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (268)

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