I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.