Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn http://tfl.nu/jekg
  Replies (5) Good night (1101) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties? http://tfl.nu/8a9h
  Replies (283) Good night (1418) Bad night (13663)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning.. http://tfl.nu/4rfg
  Replies (16) Good night (4894) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better. http://tfl.nu/vuqb
  Replies (73) Good night (6038) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2t2h
  Replies (6) Good night (692) Bad night (3591)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number. http://tfl.nu/ol2r
  Replies (19) Good night (7212) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often http://tfl.nu/h6kk
  Replies (7) Good night (3159) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell

  (816): View more from Missouri

  please tell me you are kidding me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell (816): please tell me you are kidding me http://tfl.nu/zfgp
  Replies (22) Good night (1711) Bad night (4963)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out. http://tfl.nu/gjqc
  Replies (5) Good night (8465) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener http://tfl.nu/73wy
  Replies (8) Good night (2078) Bad night (1669)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft. http://tfl.nu/aaf2
  Replies (3) Good night (3170) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (483): View more from

  Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (483): Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she? http://tfl.nu/qpva
  Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (1640)
• Favorite

  (544): View more from

  I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (544): I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling. http://tfl.nu/vpgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1811) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck http://tfl.nu/v8nv
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/w1kb
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (361)

Randomize