hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize
