youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
