Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just saw a hot homeless man
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
