4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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