nut hugger
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
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It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
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We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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