"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
