ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
