I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
