he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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