She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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