I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
