i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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