People with herpes should wear stickers.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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