I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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