i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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