I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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