You're so nebulous sometimes
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
