white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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