So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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