just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
