I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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