thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK