If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night