If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
